Labor Of Love: Working Your Marriage By God’s Design


The views and opinions expressed in this post are my own and do not necessarily represent the postings, strategies or opinions of the author and publishing company.


My husband Alvin and I have been married for 16 years. I met him during college where he’s graduating and I was a freshman. At first, it wasn’t a love story that Taylor Swift would be interested to write a song. Our ‘romance’ back then was more like a Lady Gaga or One Direction melody.

Rah-rah uh lala… Yeah, just like that…

We both just got out of a relationship and since we have common friends we both hang out with, that’s where started the acquaintance. He’s a real nice guy from the beginning. He’s generous and thoughtful to anyone around him and I can see that he has a genuine character of a man. He’s definitely good-looking, very neat and smells great. But…

I didn’t fall on him right away. Maybe I wasn’t looking for a new relationship or maybe I’ve some issues on myself and haven’t figured out which way to go. I was a working college student and it was really tough and challenging. I wasn’t performing well at school that time because I was always tired from work and I really hated my computer course. It’s not the plan I’ve been dreaming of for myself. I want to become a Counselor or Clinical Psychologist. But I was so young and naive to trust my own decision. I still leaned on the decision of my family because they knew what’s best for me. They wanted me to get an in-demand computer course for 2 years so I could land a job as soon as possible. I didn’t fight for what I want. I didn’t put myself on the top list and things that will make me happy. I want everyone around me happy and satisfied. I just agreed then I resented my decision every minute of it.

But what I didn’t know is that God put me right there at that school at the right time to meet the right man. He created a beautiful destiny out of my mistakes and unwise decisions. God gave me the happiness I never knew I’d have.  I started having feelings for Alvin as we spend more times together then I realized that this is the man I want to marry and create a family. Before my graduation, we got married in a civil ceremony.

I believe marriage hasn’t really done with the getting-to-know-each-other stage. As long as you stay married with the same person for the rest of your life, you would have never been finish off discovering each other’s uniqueness. The early years of our marriage were something like an Amazing Race or The Survivor. There were good times that we worked as a team against the challenges with finances, health, career, and family relations. But there were also worst times where we no longer keep up with trials and we ended up competing with each other.

One of the best wisdom I’ve ever heard about marriage and I really hope that you’ll remember this by heart is this one written by Harold J. Sala in his book Making Marriage Work,

“God designed the family around Himself. When He is left out, something vital is missing.”

These words are so true that no other marriage advice could surpass that statement.

Marriage should always put God at the center. In fact, success and fulfillment in anything we do in life or any aspects of our lives are meaningless without God.

Marriage is not always sunny as they say and believe me, I’ve experienced many stormy season. For 16 years of being married to my husband, I’ve seen enough light and darkness, joy and sadness, proud and lowest moments. Each has its own lesson to impart and neither I or my spouse turns out perfect. Our 16 years of marriage, scars and beauty in it, are designed by God and only He is able to rewrite our love story as He will.

Read the BEST MARRIAGE QUOTES FROM MAKING MARRIAGE WORK BY HAROLD J. SALA

6 thoughts on “Labor Of Love: Working Your Marriage By God’s Design

  1. KATE says:

    Hi, Gerda!
    Thank you for stopping by. It’s an honor to have an imperfect marriage that is being used by God to inspire other people. Sometimes, we (Alvin and I) have a tendency to look at our marriage as a project that needs a smooth, picture-perfect finish. But God’s plan for married couples must undergo a lot of pruning, molding, restoring and as long as the couple won’t see the need for ‘repair’, there will be no refinement. I thank God for not giving up on our relationship despite the many obstacles along the way.
    Thank you also for sharing your pleasant encounter with Alvin. I agree to that. He’s been a steady anchor of our family’s faith ever since. I admire him so much for being a good provider and a father, devoting most of his time to his children.
    I hope you don’t mind if I could send you a friend request on FB. Thanks a lot! God bless you more!:)

  2. Gerda says:

    Amazing Kuya Alvin and Congrats to your wife Kate for the blog. 🙂 Very inspirational. Eversince I met Kuya Alvin at work, he keeps on sharing inspirational bible verses and movies too with me thats why I never forgets him even when we both left that company and now we also belongs to the same company hehe! Kuya has shown to our colleagues how he loves his family and his passion on whatever he do. Both of you are very inspirational. God Bless you and your wonderful family. 😉

  3. Project Domestikate says:

    It makes me smile too to receive kind words and affirmation from someone. It also shows that you are full of love Tammy and have a blessed heart who sees nothing but goodness. Ohh, how I wish I could have some coffee or tea time with you. 🙂

  4. Tammy says:

    Oh, Alvin and Kate, you two are a precious pair!! It makes me smile to read your comments, your story. I know that you are a light to the world for Christ, and it lifts me up, to get to know you through this blog. Kate, I especially appreciate the wisdom, and faith that you demonstrate by understanding and declaring the GOOD (meeting your husband…) that God brought out of objectionable circumstances (majoring in something to please someone else). I also started out wanting to major in psychology!! I changed my my major at the end of my freshman year of university.

    Keep shining your light!

  5. Project Domestikate says:

    Dear Sweet,
    I also thank God for being gracious to our marriage. Thank you for being ‘blind’ and ‘deaf’ to my shortcomings and mistakes. And thank you for supporting me since Day 1 of planning to put up a blog. Now I made this far because of you. Please continue to help me minister to many people in my little way of sharing and encouraging. Also to leave a wonderful legacy of marriage guided by God’s design. I love you more!

  6. Alvin Fabian says:

    Let me be the first to comment on this. I thank God for giving me a wonderful life long partner, you… This is very true, without God our relationship won’t even last a year. 16 strong years with God being the center of our marriage. Looking forward for many years to come. Life may be hard, but with God everything is possible. I love you!

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