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My husband Alvin and I have been married for 16 years. I met him during college where he’s graduating and I was a freshman. At first, it wasn’t a love story that Taylor Swift would be interested to write a song. Our ‘romance’ back then was more like a Lady Gaga or One Direction melody.
Rah-rah uh lala… Yeah, just like that…
We both just got out of a relationship and since we have common friends we both hang out with, that’s where started the acquaintance. He’s a real nice guy from the beginning. He’s generous and thoughtful to anyone around him and I can see that he has a genuine character of a man. He’s definitely good-looking, very neat and smells great. But…
I didn’t fall on him right away. Maybe I wasn’t looking for a new relationship or maybe I’ve some issues on myself and haven’t figured out which way to go. I was a working college student and it was really tough and challenging. I wasn’t performing well at school that time because I was always tired from work and I really hated my computer course. It’s not the plan I’ve been dreaming of for myself. I want to become a Counselor or Clinical Psychologist. But I was so young and naive to trust my own decision. I still leaned on the decision of my family because they knew what’s best for me. They wanted me to get an in-demand computer course for 2 years so I could land a job as soon as possible. I didn’t fight for what I want. I didn’t put myself on the top list and things that will make me happy. I want everyone around me happy and satisfied. I just agreed then I resented my decision every minute of it.
But what I didn’t know is that God put me right there at that school at the right time to meet the right man. He created a beautiful destiny out of my mistakes and unwise decisions. God gave me the happiness I never knew I’d have. I started having feelings for Alvin as we spend more times together then I realized that this is the man I want to marry and create a family. Before my graduation, we got married in a civil ceremony.
I believe marriage hasn’t really done with the getting-to-know-each-other stage. As long as you stay married with the same person for the rest of your life, you would have never been finish off discovering each other’s uniqueness. The early years of our marriage were something like an Amazing Race or The Survivor. There were good times that we worked as a team against the challenges with finances, health, career, and family relations. But there were also worst times where we no longer keep up with trials and we ended up competing with each other.
One of the best wisdom I’ve ever heard about marriage and I really hope that you’ll remember this by heart is this one written by Harold J. Sala in his book Making Marriage Work,
“God designed the family around Himself. When He is left out, something vital is missing.”
These words are so true that no other marriage advice could surpass that statement.
Marriage should always put God at the center. In fact, success and fulfillment in anything we do in life or any aspects of our lives are meaningless without God.
Marriage is not always sunny as they say and believe me, I’ve experienced many stormy season. For 16 years of being married to my husband, I’ve seen enough light and darkness, joy and sadness, proud and lowest moments. Each has its own lesson to impart and neither I or my spouse turns out perfect. Our 16 years of marriage, scars and beauty in it, are designed by God and only He is able to rewrite our love story as He will.