I Need More Love and Patience For My Strong-Willed Child


The views and opinions expressed in this post are my own and do not necessarily represent the postings, strategies or opinions of the author and publishing company.


I became a mother when I was 21 to my firstborn Pinky. After  10 years, I gave birth to my son Joshua. They say that firstborn is the training ground for parents. Every ‘firsts’ moments with the baby is cherished. I’ve got better experience with Pinky though very uncommon for a firstborn. I slept soundly at night, she’ll just squirm a little if she’s hungry or had wet nappies, you won’t hear her scream if she wants something, she’s everybody’s favorite because she’s got smiling face as in a very easy baby. She’s been potty trained without hassle, she won’t cause a scandalous scenario at the toy store and she would even asks us first if the toy is expensive because if it is, she’ll pick the cheaper ones. She wasn’t clingy or demanding when it comes to material things. She enjoyed playing dried leaves or shredded papers as much as she enjoyed store-bought toys.

I’ve never experienced crying over her tantrums maybe she understand enough that it was inappropriate attitude or maybe just maybe..this thinking really did cross my mind lately that maybe God gave me an ‘easy child’ at the beginning so that I would still have a fun-filled memories of raising a compliant child until hmm… 10 years after He would bless me a son that would rock n’ roll my sanity…

I’m just kidding…

Then came Joshua Immanuel. His name isn’t something I came up just now. I had it in my mind way before I got married. I love that name. It says something about bravery and strong attribute of that person. I just added Immanuel later on.

Joshua or Coco (his nickname) looks a lot more of his big sister than us. But one significant thing I noticed as I entered the recovery room and he stayed in the nursery room was the loudest cry I ever heard from a newborn baby. I asked whose baby is it and the nurse said it was mine! To make sure if it’s true I asked my husband to check our son at the nursery room.  It was really him screaming at the top of his tiny lungs making sure he can be heard when he needs something. My attending doctor said something like ”You’re baby is the loudest among the 3 babies in the nursery. I can even hear him from this clinic.”The doc’s clinic is one floor below the nursery room.

Since the day Joshua was born my serene environment needs a ‘little’ adjustment of his strong persona. And this adjustment must be motivated by much and much of love and understanding.

My prayer is always asking God for more patience and abundant love because I believe my son needed it more than anyone in this house.

Year 2011, a  year before I conceived Joshua I bought the book The Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson. I read it then archived it to my bookshelf. Who would have thought that book was a gift from God for me. Maybe He’s already prepping me for challenging days ahead concerning my son. During those moments that I wonder how to come to terms with my son’s willfulness, I picked out the book again from the cabinet and reread it. I came to my senses when I read what Dr. Dobson said on page 19: ”I have been watching infants and toddlers during recent years, and have become absolutely convinced that at the moment of birth there exists in children an inborn temperament which will play a role throughout life.”

I may not started everything right but this book opened up a whole new perspective about raising a spirited child like my son Joshua. The practical advises of Dr. Dobson on disciplining a child is very helpful, from how to understand and accept the child and breaking his/her will but not the spirit.  I strongly recommend this book to all parents either your child is compliant or strong-willed because no matter how behave our child is, we all need a Biblical approach on raising them well. Parenting is tough but we are not alone with this. Our kids don’t need a set of perfect parents, what they need is parents who would raise them according to God’s standard of discipline.

Please visit http://www.drjamesdobson.org for more free resources of inspiration and encouragement.

Read the  BEST PARENTING QUOTES FROM THE STRONG-WILLED CHILD BY DR. JAMES DOBSON

2 thoughts on “I Need More Love and Patience For My Strong-Willed Child

  1. KATE says:

    I am even more grateful to people like you who appreciate what I do. Putting all of these together requires a lot of hard work and time but by God’s grace, He will sustain me throughout. 🙂

  2. Tammy says:

    This article is an awesome encouragement for parents toward a very good book, that I read myself ! I am grateful that you have made it your mission Kate, to share wonderful Christian based books. Keep up the great work!

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