*Disclaimer: I was gifted a copy of the book The One Lesson That Changed My Marriage by Joey Bonifacio courtesy of Church Strengthening Ministry, Inc. in exchange for my honest review. The views and opinions expressed in this post are my own and do not necessarily represent the postings, strategies or opinions of the author and publishing company.
At the time of writing this post, my website went down for maintenance. An error message appeared as I was browsing my site saying that it is not found. A technical glitch like this would definitely send me into panic. So I immediately sought the help of my trusted technical guy- my husband Alvin.
But my husband was still in his office at that time. We have discussed through an instant messaging what seems to be the problem. The more he explained to me the cause of the issue, the more it becomes an alien thing to me.
And the more I asked him what he is going to do about it, the more I become frustrated for the things that are unknown to me.
The flaw on the technical aspect of a website is probably the number one challenge most bloggers face. When I started my blog last year of December, I’ve dealt several troubleshooting. There were issues that can be fixed by just following the Frequently Asked Questions but the harder ones needed some assistance from technical support team. I could not survive the honeymoon stage of building a blog if not for the loving support, patience, and encouragement from my sweet husband. My frustration over technical matters which I really don’t understand gradually receding when my husband gave me an ASSURANCE that he will do everything he can to make it work.
FRUSTRATION LEADS YOU TO TRANSFORMATION (Only if you allow it!)
I recognized the same frustration during the early years of our marriage. I never thought that marriage can be a very complex relationship similar to that of technology.
My frustration has led me to recommit our marriage to God, to trust Him with our weaknesses, and to love each other unconditionally with Christ’s love. A love that is expressed in total acceptance and commitment to our spouses is the key to achieve openness and transparency in our relationship.
Both of us have spent time praying for one another, confessing to God any rejection, bitterness, and resentment toward each other. We also make sure to verbalize this commitment as often as possible.
The difficult challenges we faced in the early years of our marriage were caused by failure to follow the biblical teachings of building oneness in marriage. And not trusting God’s commands on how to construct a godly marriage.
I will forever praise God who restored our marriage. I thank God for enabling both of us to desire biblical principles to make our marriage blossom and withstand worldly sins and pressures.
He’s still teaching us to focus on the truth that He gave us our spouses not to complete us which is the Lord’s work alone but to magnify and glorify His perfect love and acceptance through our imperfections.
Our marriage is STILL on the molding process.
God is not finished on us yet. That’s His promise!
FRUSTRATION MEANS A CHANCE TO LEARN A LESSON
In his book “The One Lesson That Changed My Marriage”, Pastor Joey Bonifacio shared an awe-inspiring story of how God used a powerful message of a preacher that sets his heart to desire his marriage become what God intended it to be. First appearing as a blog series in joeybonifacio.com, he continues his passion to make a significant difference in married couples through this book.
Written in the first chapter, Pastor Joey went on to recount the pastor’s sermon: “At the end of your life, you will find yourself in a hospital bed somewhere and the people surrounding your bed will not be your business partners and associates; they will be your wife and children. The saddest day of your life is when you look into her eyes and both of you realize that you did not love her and your children the way you should have.”
In response to God’s revelation in his marriage, Pastor Joey has provided the four essential ingredients for a successful marriage: TRUST, LOVE, FORGIVENESS, and COMMUNICATION.
This book is packed with personal experiences of the author which I loved the most. One thing that I’m looking for a book is the author’s complete honesty of his own struggles and shares his/her advice to get you to the road of victory.
As a married person, I can relate to Pastor Joey when he shared that patience is not one of his strongest factors. He points out that “Without patience, love cannot be had.” This led us all to go back to what the Bible is teaching us about love in 1 Corinthians 13:4: “Love is patient.”
I also asked God to help me become more patient, not only to my spouse but to all circumstances. But based on my own experience, don’t act surprised when God will present you situations that will exercise your patience.
Trust God and pray for strength as you go through refinement process. Believe that God is more than willing to help you and your spouse to build a dynamic, solid, and satisfying marriage.
Pastor Joey also written a set of questions for the readers designed to examine what did they discover about every chapter. These questions also stimulate the readers to motivate them to take specific actions which have been valuable for growth in their marriages.
I recommend this book to married couples and I pray that this book will help you in many areas of your marriage as you are being led of the Holy Spirit. I also hope that by faith you and your spouse will have the courage to discuss ways on how to maintain a relationship with God which is necessary for building true oneness in marriage and desiring to build stronger homes.
About the Author: Joey Bonifacio is the Senior Leader at Every Nation Church Singapore and also serves in the leadership team of Every Nation Ministries. Joey has authored five widely successful books. Visit this website to know more about the author.